Hey there, Nice Timers! Oh, boy, it has been a week, huh? I've got a whole bunch of goofs and fluff lined up for you, but first things first - here's the official Nice Times Club response to the less-than-nice times that often befall us.

Get out there and do what you can to bring a little brightness into the world, Nice Timers. Donate to the good people. Get out and lend a hand. Make some noise, make some friends, make some things to make those friends smile.

Alright, then. On with Club business! It's story time!

The Sweet Justice of Janice

Janice the Whale Shark was a real sweet lady. Every day, she'd swim through her neighbourhood and say hey to all her pals.

"Hey!" said Janice.
"Oh, hi there, Janice!" said Twibbles the Starfish.
"Hey!" said Janice.
"Hello, Janice!" said Murphy the Moray Eel.
"Hey!" said Janice.
"Hey, Janice!" said Davis the Hermit Crab.
"Hey!" said Janice.
"How's it going, Janice?" said Kat the Anemone.
"Hey!" said Janice.
"A-bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo!" wept Garth the Sea Cucumber.

Janice swam down to the sea floor to see what was up with Garth.
"Hey, Garth! What's up?" said Janice.
"A-bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo! The plankton over there have been teasing me all morning! A-bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo!" wept Garth the Sea Cucumber.

Janice looked over at the plankton. They were swimming together in an arrangement so their little bods spelled out "GET IN A SALAD, YOU DAFT CUCUMBER".
"Oh, what a bunch of bullies!" said Janice. "Don't you worry, Garth. I'll sort them out."

So Janice swam over to the plankton and scooped them all up in her big mouth and chomped them all down. Garth immediately felt better and Janice was pleased to have eaten a satisfying breakfast. All was well once more.

The end.

It's time for Golf Facts

Golf was invented in 1992 by Jennifer von Golf when she was trying to throw out her brother's ping pong balls by nudging them down a shower drain with a vacuum cleaner
It is a rule of golf that anyone playing it must have at least five (5) pom-poms on their person at all times. At least two (2) of them must be visible.
Badgers have a natural ability for golf. This is why the world golfing Top 10 has been dominated by badgers since its inception.
There are three types of golf club - wood, iron and mallow. Mallow clubs are rarely used as they are often eaten before they can be taken to the range.
The little spikes on golf shoes are there so you can make little homes for small bugs as you walk around the turf.
Golf bags and bagpipes are the same thing. It's just two different words for the exact same thing.
A birdie is one stroke under par, an eagle is two strokes under par, and a blue-footed booby is 287 strokes under par.
Gary Player is widely regarded as one of the greatest players in the history of golf.
In hard mode, traditional golf balls are replaced with lawn bowls balls.
All golf caddies are named "Justins".

Uh-oh. What's this?

Reginald began to rethink whether he should throw a tantrum given he is 37 years old.

The Snack Report

Last issue, I asked all you Nice Timers, "What's the best snack?"
I present them to you now, so that you may snack on them.

Thanks so much for sharing, buds! For the record, I think the best snack is potato gems. Sometimes I put cheese and gravy on them and turn them into poutine. Sometimes I eat them with spicy barbecue sauce and mayonnaise. Sometimes I will put full nachos toppings on a bowl of them. They are warm and dependable and an all-round good snack option.

What is the best place to take a nap?

Please send your answers to nictimesclubmailbox@gmail.com

Dog of the Week

Josephine the Chow Chow Pup is a dental assistant from Captains Flat. She likes playing dominoes, constructing paper planes and straight-up eating garbage.

Letters to the Editor

It's coming up to the festive season, so here's my tip for gift shopping on a budget - if you go to a park, there are literally rocks and leaves on the ground that you can pick up and have for free! It's incredible!
Isthmus, Girt's Handle TAS

Why are the youth of today always looking at their dang phones and never talking to each other? Back in my day, we had to draw pictures on a block of wood and carry that around to stare at in order to not talk to each other. What's so wrong about that? Bring back the wood blocks, I say.
Harolb, Woolsey ACT

Hey there. Just wanna let you know you're doing an alright job. You just hang in there and keep up the good work, m'kay? Come see me later and I'll treat you to a coffee and a lil snack.
Elyce, Fitzroy VIC

Here is a song that is just so dang lovely.

Here is an extended version of a video you have most definitely seen, but this version made me very happy this week.

Here is a news story about a koala.

Well, we've come to the end of Nice Times Club for another week. It's been rad having you, Nice Timers. You're an excellent bunch.

Until next time, may the majority of your times be nice times.

Elyce x
(Vice President and Nonsense Wrangler of the Nice Times Club)

Nice Times Club 2: Aquatic Boogaloo