Oh, hi there, Nice Timers! You having a good day? I sure hope so. Things are all good here. Abigail's giving birdbaths a try. She mostly just dunks her head and sings underwater because she thinks it sounds weird. It does.
Anyhoo! Story!

Toodles the Grumbly Horse

Toodles was a pretty regular looking horse, except instead of neighing he would make a sort of grumbly noise like "mmmmmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmphh!" It didn't matter how he was feeling. Toodles could be on top of the world! But no matter what type of noise he wanted to make, it would always come out as a whiny sort of "mmmmmmmmuuuuurrrrrrrrrbbbbllllmmmmmph!"

One lovely summery day, Toodles was at a birthday party for his pal Graham the Tree Stump With A Bit Of Moss On The Side.
"Thanks so much for coming to my party, Toodles!" said Graham.
"Mmmmmmmmrmmmph," said Toodles.
"Man, Toodles doesn't seem to happy to be here, Graham," said Tandy the Fence Pale Who Didn't Know How To Mind Her Own Business.
"Mrrrrrmmmmmmmmpgh!" said Toodles.
"Yeah!" said Graham, "Toodles is having a great time. That's just how he talks, is all. Gosh, you're rude, Tandy."

Just then, Toodles spotted something bright across the paddock. He trotted over and picked it up in his mouth. When he breathed out, the thing made an almighty TOOT! It was the most delightful sound Toodles had ever heard. He trotted back over to the party, tooting all the way.

"Now you sound happy," said Tandy.
But little did she know, although Toodles' tooting sounded happy, he was actually telling Tandy to shove it. She remained blissfully ignorant and they all enjoyed the party.

The end.

It's Time for Pumpkin Facts

Pumpkins are related to pumps, the type of shoes, hence their name.
Pumpkin seeds are also known as pepitas, pep-boys and crunchy petes.
The biggest pumpkin ever grown was 187cm in circumference and had a small family of possums living inside it.
Pumpkin soup is a good soup, especially if you put some curry spices in there.
Back in the '80s, pumpkins were used as bowling balls. Bowling balls had been invented some decades earlier - it was just a weird fad.
Who invented pumpkins? That, my friends, is a question for the ages.
When someone asks a pumpkin farmer how they are, they'll say, "Aw, you know, just pumpin' out pumpks!" and then they will laugh for ages because they think it's hilarious.
Before pumpkins, people tried carving bananas and other soft, tropical fruits for Halloween. It was rubbish.
"Pumpkin" is a sweet thing to call your partner, but it's a weird thing to do in reverse. Don't be opening your fridge and picking up your pumpkin and saying, "Come along, husband. Let's make you into a roast." Or do. I'm not your boss.
I am not eating pumpkin right now, as I type this, but I might be eating pumpkin later, when you are reading this.

What is a book or a film or a TV series that you always go back to because it makes you feel good?

Please send your answers to nicetimesclubmailbox@gmail.com

Dog of the Week

Letters to the Editor

To whom it may concern,
I purchased your "Learn Mandarin" tape box set and I am very disappointed. I consumed it over an hour ago and I am feeling no different, aside from a bit of a sore tum. I demand compensation.
Flip Borgatron, Dangles SA

To whom it may concern,
I purchased your duct tape and I am very disappointed. I put it into my VCR over an hour ago and nothing has appeared on my television screen. I have certainly learned nothing about ducting systems! I demand compensation.
Flip Borgatron, Dangles SA

To whom it may concern,
I purchased your Groovy Grape Bubble Tape and I am utterly delighted! It has held together the wrapping paper on my mother's birthday gift quite well and the fruity scent is quite the treat! I demand to come into the manufacturing plant and grant each of your workers a thank-you kiss.
Flip Borgatron, Dangles SA

Here is a good bit from a podcast I very much enjoy

Here is a story about a woman who is rad at maths

Here is some Dr Dog

And that's all the Nice Times we can cram in for this week, bud-buds! I hope you've had a lovely time. See you next week!
Until next time, may the majority of your times be nice times.

Elyce x
(Vice President and Nonsense Wrangler of the Nice Times Club)

Nice Times Club 11: The nice times that is four more than seven